"Decidophobia"

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." Marie Curie

humbug...

9506

Life is really unfair. I felt I have just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I feel slumped. I feel small. I feel a little bit of helplessness. I feel not up to myself today.

Time is quickly passing. Moving at an incredible speed. And I cannot keep up. I feel I am being left behind. Just when did being poor considered a crime? My obligations and due payments are coming to haunt me again. And I am still not prepared. I have not yet summed up the exact amount.

My competitor is now open. I hope he has luck better than mine. He doesn't know that we will both perish. He still doesn't know what mess he has come up to.

Competition does not bother me much. What bothers me is that my income generation is not sufficient to cover everything. I feel I am losing hope. In the first place, I opened in this location to prepare for the upcoming construction of a low-cost subdivision one lot next to mine. I could also grab a lot so I will have a bigger market share and a residence nearby. All I have to do is survive a few months then I could already have a strong customer base. But I miscalculated the timing. It's been months and there hasn't been a construction going on. There has been not a single bulldozer nor a shovel touching the large vacant lot. What's taking them so long? Maybe the big politician behind this aims to postpone it till the election season. I could not keep up with the crisis situation down here. I already lack funds and my impatience is building. I need to act now.

News about the looming shutdowns at the automotive industry says it is imminent. And factories nearby are following suit. The government still continuously keeps a blind eye at these happenings and opts to redirect the people's attention, pursuing subsidies that are only short termed remedies to our ailing nation. Continuously bragging about new jobs, poor Juan just finds out there is a job mismatch and still does not get hired. Continuously bragging about it's policies to uplift and aid the SME's, poor entrepreneur soon loose grip and closes down because of lack of aid. And the ever growing crocodile illegal recruitment agencies still flooded by aspiring ofw's, later grieving over huge debt but no work and does not even have the money to buy a ticket home. It all boils down to one thing. There is a bigger pandemic we have to face. Maybe larger than the influenza A (H1N1). It is dying of hunger. Of flash floods and landslides and nonstop typhoons and global warming. And we Filipinos are not prepared. Or just pretending to be. Our government bannering it's good deeds with a hidden agenda of campaigning, the cha cha, and using our taxes to fund their exploits and to maintain their also falling businesses. They are so busy wiping their butts they have forgotten us.

My stand for now is to continue to fight. I am still beyond the brink of letting go. And I'm afraid to lose it all so no decisions for now. Maybe God will make a way.

Sometimes life just isn't fair, but that shouldn't stop you from trying to see justice done today. It's not silly to believe in fairness, it's admirable. Hang on to your idealism with all your might -- it will help you adjust to any unexpected situation, be more self-sufficient, and keep you safe from people who don't like to play by the rules. Everything cannot be completely equitable in every situation, but you can work to make it as close as possible. (ast.com)