My Last Breath

"Habit is stronger than reason."
- George Sanayana

humbug...

I'm busy today...might as well postpone my post for tomorrow...

9502

At last, a time for my post...

I have been in this vice for almost 13 years now. And I could never recall how many sticks have I finished. According to an online smoking calculator, I may have smoked almost a hundred thousand of them and may have cost me almost two hundred thousand pesos. That's a lot of money. I have tried to quit so many times I could not recall how many. But the urge always wins.

I have done so many things to stop. I tried seeking help from a company doctor. ( she didn't help), I've tried prescriptions, goal setting, starving myself but nothing worked. I tried so many tactics to reason myself, my family, my child's health, for love, for my health, for money. But nothing won. I am even smoking this very minute. Well, that's too bad....

Now that I am desperate coz of my poverty, I need to try once more...this time, now that I have told thew world, I hope it could make me quit. I'll try to save the money I will spend and see how will I fare. Let's see if habit is stronger than reason. Let's change it a bit.
"The empty stomach is stronger than habit"
Sounds weird, and stupid. But might as well give it a try.....

You have smoked roughly 94,900 cigarettes!

Smoking cigarettes costs you $280.00 per week, $1,216.67 per month, and $14,600.00 per year.

Based on the national average of cigarettes smoked and the average seven years of life lost due to smoking, smokers lose 5 1/2 minutes of life per cigarette smoked. At this rate, your life may be shortened by as much as 669 hours per year by smoking 20 cigarettes a day.

This works out to 27.88 days lost per year.

Over the last 13 years, you may have already shortened your life by 362.47 days!

Even though there is no exact way to predict the amount of life lost to smoking, know that tobacco use can cut valuable years from your lifespan!

If you continue smoking you will smoke 7,300 cigarettes over the next year, 36,500 cigarettes over the next five years, and 73,000 cigarettes over the next 10 years. Don't forget that each of these cigarettes decreases your lifespan too!

Courtesy of www.tobaccofreeu.org

Blood Clot

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow''

humbug...

I am at a loss now...but still struggling. I need to act fast now. I found a new apartment just a kilometer from my shop. It's not big, just enough for us. It's not pretty either, but homely and I think it's a bit peaceful. The problem is I do not have enough cash for the advance and deposit. I spent my money to repair my pc remember?

Need to make odds meet! God will make a way! I could no longer afford my apartment in Sta. Rosa. I need to transfer now, before somebody else grabs the cheap apartment that I have found. Apartments here costs ranging from 2,500 up, and cheap ones are hard to find.

I finally found my favorite song since elementary...I thought I will not hear it again.
thanks to don...
http://www.angelfire.com/planet/donz65/godwillmakeaway/

God Will Make A Way

Don Moen

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way....
He will make a way

Oh God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way.....
He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
And He will do something new today

Oh God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way...
He will make a way

NARRATION

Oh God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way....
He will make a way

With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way....
He will make a way

I love that song...It reminds me to be strong, likely I need it this time. Need to make a way to stop bleeding...

All I need to do now is wait...wait until God moves...for I cannot do anything anymore... My life bleeds away after all that I have done to prevent it. I need help... I have done everything in my power to fight. But it's just too hard for me. Every time I do something to survive, a new dilemma comes. I hope my waiting would give new hope to stop the bleeding, and I hope my waiting would not result of being bled to death.

" All good things comes to those who wait" - Robert de niro

I successfully uploaded my video to you tube...hopulykit...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppu4XFzxy_Y

Poor Pinoy

“Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.”

Humbuggg...

I was very very anxious the moment I came to my shop this morning. I readily opened my PC, browsed the internet, and read about. In a couple of minutes (my pc is slow) my nervousness was calmed, my anxiety pacified, my heartbeat normalized and the smile on my face vanished...

"I did not win the lotto!"

I have been betting in the national lottery for several years now...and not even one time, not even once that I won a cent. Maybe I have no luck at all. And still like the other million people out there we would still bet tomorrow. Like some people would say, " There is a greater probability that you would be struck by lightning this minute than win the lotto." "People that put their hopes in games of chance are those uneducated and hopeless individuals" Well, I don't care. I may have helped the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office to help poorer Pinoys with what I am doing, for part of the money is meant for charity. I also may have helped those corrupt individuals laundering the government's money. I may have helped Gloria in her candidacy! Such excuse is so lame. For the true reason is us Pinoys' hopelessness, dire need of cash, instant wealth, instant prosperity. Well just what I have said..."I don't care"

The only thing disturbs me is the feeling I get which is probably what almost all of us get. The frustration, the pain, the suffering....On how we tirelessly wait in lines at the Lotto outlet just to take our chance for the big bucks. On how we intently pray (which is wrong) that luck may pass our way. The bitter reality that we lost our money for a piece of parchment that's not even enough to light our charcoal stoves. Well, maybe that's what life is after all...

Tomorrow will be another day. And tommorow I will waste my money again for this stupid game. And who knows, I may win. Or I may be frustrated once more, just like what I've been doing all my life....

"Success doesn't happen overnight. It's the small successes achieved day by day that build a company. So, don't be impatient or focused on immediate financial rewards."

-John Gokongwei

Where do I go?

"Do not go where the path may lead. Instead, go where there is no path, and leave a trail"

Humbug...

Ever wonder why there are times you really want to go to a place and end up steering off to another one? Or when you dream of something but no matter what you do you end up into another reality as if it's somebody else s' dream?

I keep on thinking about it...and finally found a solution to it. I see it in my self as distractions. Chapters in our life that slows us down, or steers us away from our chosen path. Like getting pregnant accidentally (sample only) You dream of finishing your studies then you get pregnant. Or when you plan of embarking on a business then a new job came...or a promotion...or a different kind of business... You do not notice them, but they have a huge effect on your chosen path...your dream....

I myself is a great example of those people bombarded by so much drastically life changing events. Maybe someday I will have the courage (and the time and effort) to publicly announce it to the web. But only one things for sure. those events changed my life. In reality I do not regret those experiences, but sometimes wonder if I hadn't let my self be diverted to my course, "Would I be happy?" Maybe that's what God has blessed me. Or that's my mission in this world. Maybe...

One thing I noticed on successful people is that they have this ability to be cold hearted in a sense they do not let their experiences halt or slow them, much less divert them from their chosen path. They have this sense of firmness that whatever happens, they will march on straight and with no stoppage. Their focus is so strong they do not leave time to look to the side, which is not good to my standards. Like the crab thinkers (remember?) "But it makes the job done!!!" I hope I could learn to live that way....but I don't think God wants me to. I think he made me a little bit soft to be able to be sensitive to others....which is a nice thing for me...

It may have slowed me down...(to a point like turtles dashing.....so slowly) But I still believe I can reach my goal. (I hope in time) And when that time comes I will feel complete. Just as my saying goes..."Yeah yeah...your approach is more effective and quick...But mine has more drama and effect to others." (which is a poor but more HUMANLIKE thing for me...) Truly I had chosen my (slow) but memorable path that I can be proud (or ashamed) to tell to my grandkids....

“Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence.”

"Gut Sum Balls?"

" Talent is essential to live a dream, but guts are needed to make it happen."

It's a bit of coincidence why I am writing this post. I will be talking about guts and how I can manage to get out of my rut. I was delayed for a couple of days because when I was just beginning to write this post a strong electrical surge fried my PC, along with the little hope that's left. I was just thankful my data was not destroyed. I borrowed some cash (AGAIN) and sent my PC to a repairman. Now my dilapidated machine became slower, some functions missing but still grateful to run. Oh thank God....now armed with an injured PC, less cash, more debt, a couple of days without income and destroyed morale, I am now resuming my fight against poverty.

Funny me talking about guts and balls in a time my gut is about to be sucked to it's limit, and my balls shrinking.

I wonder how other people manage to survive. I can't even think what to do next. Nevertheless I need to continue living. Sucking the last of my gut and the last of my shrunken balls ( sounds funny) I will fight. Maybe fighting not anymore for hope, but because of pride. I don't want to die broke, as I was born broke.

Unearthed Treasure

" It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow."

- Robbert Goddard (Rocket fuel scientist)

9424
My post is a little bit late. I should have written it yesterday.

This is my post to thank a long lost friend who had helped me yesterday. Yesterday I felt so angry at the world. Then help came. It may not be much help but it calmed me.

I am angry at the world because I feel I am alone. I know millions share my experiences today, but somehow I feel trapped, alone in the world.

I just wish these tribulations would end sooner. Deep inside I feel I cannot take it anymore. I am already blinded of my hate. And Blame God whom I know deep inside is my only hope.
I wish I could let Him enter my life again. My life's frustrations had hardened me from my beliefs. Gosh...

Last night I am watching TV in our house. We do not have an antenna. (long story) so I made a makeshift one. The drawback is that sometimes getting a signal is very hard. Sometimes there are only about 2 to 4 channels available. Anyway, I was watching TV then all of a sudden maybe my neighbor turned on their TV and destroyed my viewing time. ( it affects reception so my favorite channel was disconnected.) All of the channels are gone except one. I had to watch the remaining channel, and the show was a evangelical one. (need I tell?)

I was amazed at the man preaching. It is as if he was talking to me in person. His topic is about mine. So I related a lot. Half of me was amazed and was touched. And the other half disbelieves (just a coincidence). Nevertheless his prayer moved me a bit, so dragging my negative personality I tried to listen to his preaching and tried a bit to pray. Maybe a pinch of hope is left in me. Maybe a thread of light shone. (even if it's so faint)

I tried to make a prayer request today as soon as I had the chance. But there's an error in my system. It kept unaccepted. Another proof that there's so many people in this world in need of help, resorting to these sites. The traffic must have been huge.

I hope there's hope for me. I still believe I can manage to crawl out of this slump. These trials are strengthening my resilience. And sometimes (I think) weakening me....Right now I am confused....

A Terrible Day

"Jonelta Banana"

" Amidst a vast dark and gloomy sky peeps a thread of light"

Humbug...

Sorry if my gaphics are bad....I'm having a bad day....

That's it...my landlady warned me that if I could not produce cash tomorrow for my rent, they would be giving my office to another tenant. I could not blame them. That's the reality, they are doing business and when a business goes bad, they have to take actions like what they just did. But deep inside I could not help but despair. "Why this time?" I could have easily produced that amount if not for the vacation season. It's just not fair for me because of their timing. Now I am thinking, "Would I hold on or just let go?" I'm having a big trouble deciding today. And I could not help but cry. Thank God There are no customers. They might think I'm losing my mind.

I could not think of a possible solution right now. The time limit is just too steep. I could not help but faintly blame God. I'm sorry if I'm sinning today. I just could not help it. I could not help but blame Him for forsaking me. Deep inside I'm trying to calm myself, telling myself that it is just one of those trials God has blessed me. And He knows that I can overcome it, just to make me stronger. But another side of me mourns. "Why me? Why this time? Are You not even feeling a bit of pity for my family? Even just for my son? Or You just don't care?" I'm so sorry for my blasphemy. I just couldn't help myself.

Now calm down....I could not calm down...The fire raging inside is so intense I could not hold it down. Maybe I'm thinking I'm on the verge of insanity. Sometimes I even compare myself to people who killed themselves, seeing myself in them, feeling and noticing some common signs. I even see signs in me being crazy. "What if I get outside right now, stab anyone who crosses my path, then kill myself later?" I keep on fighting that feeling. I need someone to talk to...



My Nephew who's as poor as me right now...
9424

A humble Seed: Communist by Heart

VOP chapel....
Used to play ( and pray ) here.....
Thanks to Jethro Yasis for his nice shots...











"People without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture are like trees without roots."

So much memories...


Humbug...

I need not elaborate about my past life in my high school days at the SOM. I feel that I am not even worthy of talking about it. All I can say is that it was a very big part of my life and without it, I may be nothing today. (bakit? something kanaba?) The prestigious school has imprinted an indelible mark on my personality, my beliefs, my whole being. If I hadn't studied there, I would have been a poorer, incapable and incompetent man. Yes I'm still down today, but it would have been worse.

One thing the congregation thought us unknowingly of course is the communist way of life. Once you enter that school. You shed all your belongings down to the underwear and change it to the standard. We virtually have the same kind of clothes, school supplies, toiletries, leisure equipment and mode of education. We even have exactly the same food in almost the same amount each day everyday for the whole year. We receive the same care and attention, medical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual from the modest student to the average to the lowest. A grade A student is treated and educated just as the same as the Grade P's. And FYI, we have no books. We are being spoon fed by our mentors in a way maybe to save the cost of buying several books but for me most specially to learn and develop just as everyone else. Study like everyone else, train like everyone else. The only thing different is how a student accepts and makes use of that equality.

When something goes bad, when there are offenders of the rules, we receive almost the same kind of reprimand, punishment and civil service as everyone else. Fluctuating only in a sense on who's your superior. Whether you are popular or not, you receive the same kind of attention. positive or negative. There may be a little bit of favoritism, and a little of those scum individuals I am not proud of, But our life from the time we wake up till the time we sleep is exactly the same. Yes, we wake up at the same time, brush our teeth, take a bath, study, eat, work, play, pray and sleep at the same time. Accurate to the second.

We plant crops there, sometimes we make some commercial activities and all our harvest will be shared to the very last citizen regardless of the size of his stomach. May sound weird, some say boring. But for me it's like a mini paradise.

I may have said so much, but my point is I have lived there for so long that I had gotten used to it and now I am in the real world, I find it hard to adjust to the impartiality and unfairness of this world. That is the reason I am very ANGRRRRYYY at wealthy individuals.... Yeah its not their fault. But I am just angry. Sue me.

Root Crisis part 5: Tahong (Mussel) mentality

Tahong: abalone, mollusks, sea shells....sea dwellers...





















"We should not be like shells that dwell in the bottom of the sea but soar like eagles in the sky. Ignorance is a crime"

Humbug...

Need to rest now...maybe next time. There's a customer coming...wish me luck...(coins that is)

I'm back....and I think I hurt my back badly. I also have a headache today. Anywayssss, need to type through...This is the last ( 5th) cause of financial crisis of us Pinoys.

TAHONG ( MUSSELS ) MENTALITY...That's new. Actually it has been with us since our Grandpas and Grandmas and their ancestors before them. We just don't see it. ( I begin to feel that one reason we are poor is that we tend not to see things...) Are we blind!!??!! Oh Cmon...

Lets pretend we are in an elementary class and the great JayuMaster will lecture a topic... say Biology? Class, our topic for today is about sea dwelling animals. Examples of sea dwellers are mollusks, clams, shells and sponges. They stick to the bottom of the sea, to corals, shipwrecks, rocks, and other hard immovable objects. " Take note": THEY EAT BY SIFTING SMALL MICROORGANISMS UNDERWATER. That's right... we tend to stick to what we are comfortable to, become complacent, just make of what we actually can find (and just stay put). Afraid to explore our potentials, to learn, to give and take in return. To see other places, learn new things. The world is larger than you think. And if you're contented with what you have, you may be happy, ( you think?) But actually you've become a liability, a burden to others. In short WLA KANG SILBI!!! (You have no value) Thats what I mean folks... I hope you don't mind...


One of my practice pics (scanned)

Did I hurt somebody's feelings? Yeah yeah, you would contradict me again as expected. But unless all of us open our eyes to the sickening truth, we will not have the chance to dig ourselves from this pit of poverty. Yemen?.......Yemen!!!

"I'm only a high school graduate." "I have no capital." " I don't know a thing about business." "This is what my family is doing for years." "I cannot do that." "I am afraid." "What if I fail?" This is the only means of Income that I know" LAME EXCUSES!!!

It is of course the duty of the government to uplift the education and means of the society. We could not get over this slump without proper guidance and enlightenment. We need support from the government. Lower taxes for starting businesses. Support for financing, marketing, outsourcing and protection against fallouts. Of course I believe that we are capable of this things. There is one catch though. In my opinion, the only means that we can change or mend this last mentality problem is when all four ( let me enumerate) mentalities specially the fourth (crab)
is addressed.

1. Employee Mentality
2. Reward Yourself (too early) Mentality
3. Ego Financial System Mentality
4. Crab Mentality
5. Tahong Mentality

Of course its hard to address all, specially when those above us doesn't even care for the lower classes.
So good luck...I've done my part. Now think about yours... I think that's fair enough?

"My child, you are not created to be like ducks swaddling in the mud but to be like eagles destined to rise above!"-Fr. Al Schwartz


Founder of the Sisters of Mary Foundation. (which I am very proud of though not publicly)

Root Crisis part 4: Crab Mentality

1st Place in the Luzon competition, last place in the gratitude department.

"If I can't have it, neither can you"
---Wiki----

2nd to the last of my never ending epic blabbers about our uncontrollable misery is about the Pinoy's tendency to be crablike in face of our fellowmen. I need not emphasize on this topic because everyone knows about this and it is already a scratched ( gasgas na- hanep sa english)
topic. Neither need I cite examples coz it's already very common ( though I really want to cite one that I am gritting my teeth in absolute anger right now. Instead, I will just explore (like I always want to) why we tend to be like these creatures though lowly, are a very important part of the ecosystem.

Ever wonder why someone or almost everyone tend to pull us down even though we all know that we are striving our best, not stepping on others just to succeed? Believe me or not, all of us have that tendency one way or the other. You may not accept the truth. But there are times you tend to pull others down for your own uplift, even just mentally and never actually doing it.

Ever encountered a time of your life when you did not share a small information so that your team will win in school competitions? Do you have trade secrets in your business? (all of us do) You ask me, why would I share my business trade secrets with competitors? That is correct. Because the moment you expose them, your opponents will overthrow you. Just like you, they know something you'd like to know but are not willing to share it for their own survival. That's the smallest example of crab mentality. You may argue about it, but it is true. All of us have that mentality. It is in our very human nature. Survival of the fittest. We all need it to survive so we just need to live with it. The problem is that some people ( I wouldn't consider them one if its up to me) tend to be a little bit more hooked into it, they don't realize they are overdoing it, thinking they have not done anything wrong. ( kakapal no?) Then there are some who utterly feel it in themselves, but they just don't care. They are the predators of society. And we herbivores need to cope with it, or in some cases eradicate them with extreme means. ( I would love to have I the chance...) Education cannot cure these fellows. It is not education they need because they are not completely ignorant about their doings. They just ignore it coz they think only of themselves ( survival of the fittest eh). They are next to serial killers because the part of the brain that is reminding them of compassion for others is underdeveloped. What they need is an electric shock to the head....Yeah... definitely needed.

Root Crisis part 3 : Ego Financial System

One example of my efforts ( victorious but with no gratitude...yemen)

Humbug..

"One may understand the Cosmos, but never the Ego; the self is more distant than any star."
- G.K. Chesterton...


Hooray...



The 3rd and maybe the most overseen cause why we do not attain financial success is our each and every one's ego financial system.

What in the world does that mean? Actually it is simple. Each and every one of us may not know we abide by this system. It is killing us, but we don't know it. One word may describe this, and even the upper classes of society fell victim to it ( they are most easily seen and easier to describe). It is IGNORANCE!!! It is being blind to one's financial stature. Wanna know more? Stand by because my back aches and I think I should rest for a while...

will view my fs for a while...maybe some miracle can give me some good news...humbug

11:00 pinoy time
I had just recieved my landlady's bill for my rent amounting to 4,000.00. Nice... I had just paid two thousand plus for my internet, six thousand plus for my bank loans, and a couple of pesos for my 5-6 financer, then now what? I have no more money and there are ample customers today. Arrrrggggghhhh....let me die now...

I don't feel up to continuing my blog right now, nevertheless I'm bored. And even though I know my post right now would sound gloomy because of my "cloudy disposition" today, I need to finish this part.

!@$#@ what a &(^&*%%@#$%♣•○♦5← day today....

To all you fellowmen like me who know in their heart that they're suckers and losers and who's lives have no meaning in this world blah blah blah... let all ye know this... almost every man ( or woman ) including the upper classes think they are still hanging on the thin thread of money matters are already actually broke, poor, bankrupt and still not know it (or admit it). This is the ignorance that I am talking about...

Ever wonder or even think about your financial status at this time? You think you're not broke? Think again.... Let me cite myself as a stupid example... I resigned from my job and is into business today. I may have an ample material assets in my name but in fact I'm already bankrupt. I had refinanced my home a couple of times ( which I'm not even sure existed ) for business purposes just like almost everyone did too, maxed out my credit cards and is in so much debt that my liabilities by far exceeded my assets.( if I really have one) Even before I resigned, I was already up to neck in debt, and my incapacity to generate income for a while added to my miseries. You see, we declare or even think about being broke way far after we were actually broke!!! Can you read between the lines? When the time comes we realize that we are losing money, the truth is that we don't have any money at all. Specially Pinoys who love to borrow money, when your debt exceeds that of your assets, even though you are still capable of generating one, you are already broke without knowing it. Ignorance of this matter, ( not knowing you were already broke ) means you will try to mend it much too soon, much later that you should have. Resulting to failure, dissapiontment, grief, family breakdown, blah blah blah then ultimately you can't crawl out of it anymore. Then you just die. Of course there are ways to get by those experiences but the later you cure a disease, the harder it will be.

"Prevention is Better than Cure"

That should be our motto. We should constantly check and balance our finances to early cope with the problems to come. But what the truth is we are ignorant about this. We tend to borrow more money than we could actually pay for say, in our lifetime. So BE EDUCATED!!! Do not follow suit to other people. Borrowing money is not bad. In fact it can be used to generate more money. Just be cautious. And always perform check and balance... Like an old pinoy quote once said:

" Your credit is good but we need Cash"





One of my first pics when I started to study photo editing about 4 years ago... looks cool to me sometimes and sometimes looks dumb. Maybe depending on my mood....

Root Crisis part 2: Reward Yourself Mentality

Northeast corner at Third Avenue
"Be wary of the riches of this world...you cannot carry them with you on the grave."
(because a car won't fit in your coffin much less your house)

Humbug...

Painting of my son and his cousins....9418


Humbug...

I have just finished my pending customers' orders today, and I feel very tired....haaaaaay...
Lucky for me there are a few customers that came by...(still not enough to cover my expenses)
Lucky for me I still have time to write a few words in my blog.
To a very far away friend out there who's celebrationg her birthday, sorry because my memory is so poor specially in nunbers that I even forget my own birthday much less my age...ehem ehem...
This is a small space in my blog dedicated for you....


MyNiceSpace.com


MyNiceSpace.com


MyNiceSpace.com

9421

As always I was interrupted by so much misery that even simply time for typing away was no leisure, more of an obligation for my part...coz we need to eat and you cannot eat your motherboard, right.

Anywaysss, Before I fly away from my topic, Let me introduce you all friends to another mentality that is a sore reality for us not only Filipinos but almost every human being...Maybe because its our instinct, or maybe we are programmed that way by history. The big urge to splash ourselves and specially our loved ones with all we may know is important but when analyzed may be found as unnecessary pleasures and luxuries in life.

There are so much examples, and one of them is me... I used to love toys when I was a kid. But my mother won't buy me anything ( and I thanked her somehow for teaching mee to be frugal.) Now that I am all grown up, I tend to buy so much toys ( FOR MY SON OF COURSE ) that when I realized that it already cost me a fortune collecting them. Maybe inside in one's ego, they or I just wanted to fill the gaps of my childhood. Maybe a part of them were not really for my son but for me... but now I learned ( the hard way ) but I still tend to buy my son a gift every now and then when I have the chance ( and the cash). Cash I should have invested properly to earn more then I could buy all the things that I want... Maybe.... That's my opinion.



Another example is our very own Manny Pacquiao. Forgive me fans... I just have the tendency to sulk at people getting their hands on the green. Specially those who did it seemed so easy. ( I know that was not easy... I said SEEMED SO EASY OKAY..??) Let's all contemplate, he was poor right, but with the help of God, his friends and that very tough heart (and hand), he managed to come to the top... Now he is on the top look... A very big house, too much cars ( than he can handle mostly) , hundreds of fighting cocks and maybe a whole city of relatives ( too bad)
From rags to riches he made it, then all his frustrations as a child came into play, and he is now rewarding himself. That's not bad at all. after all, he worked hard for it with sweat and blood. A thing he must be concerned of is how to manage his assets, not too much rewarding onesself.
Thanks for some people ( Freddie Roach a great example) for helping Pacman manage his assets, teaching him to save some for the rainy day. Because we all know that boxing is not forever, and when you make a mistake of not saving for retirement, you may end up broke and ill for the rest of your days. Graping the fact you had so much then after losing it to the ones you thought your friends, now gone with the wind with your money. That is an inevitable human trait.

"When there's no more milk, we leave the cow and come back only when there's milk again..."
( worse case is you get butchered...how evil...)

My point is that we all somehow work our butts out to make a living. Then when the most awaited 13th month pay or bonus comes, we splurge to luxury, thinking there's no end on the cash flow. Like it's from a never ending well of wealth. We buy a cellphone, watch movies, go out with the family, renovate our house, a car, a bike, new clothes, everything. That isn't so bad, after all we say that we worked our butts out. But after the holidays, we should ask ourselves. Where am I now? I say to you, you were back to where you started. ( with new clothes and car and etc etc ... of course) But will be waiting again for the new break, nw commission, new bonus. I hope they always come as expected. But believe me most of the time they don't.

I'm not lecturing you. Its my point of view. If you think I'm wrong and spending every penny you earn thinking there's a next month pay and bonus and super duper wealth to come is your thing, then be my guest. After all, you worked your butts out.

Swimming in Pansol 2004 I think, One of my luxury gift for my son's birthday. Ohh give me a break...

Root Crisis part 1: Employee Mentality

"Give a man a fish will feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to teach his friends and relatives and neighbors and enemies how to fish then you build a nation. Teach all those people how to maintain, preserve and help one another to enrich their craft, you have made a paradise..."

Wala lang...type ko lang sabihin un... (It's nothing, I just typed those saying anyway)

As I promised to myself. Even though I'm bored with this topic because I have no money. (What? money, what is money?) (sarcastic). here is the continuation of the money crisis post:


Blah, blah, blah... The employee mentality of the Filipinos is the culprit why we are a third world nation. (next to corruption). Im not against employment let me clear (because there's no business without its workers)....But be warned you Filipino people...if we all strive to be employees, all that's left to do business are the foreigners...(then we blame the government while we overlook the fact that it is partially our fault.) That's one reason ( I remember how we get angry after getting comments on the net or in tv about some insults regarding our kababayans working abroad. Our domestic helpers, our ofw's... I am not against working abroad but whether you agree or not, it's giving us Filipinos a very bad "slave of the world" impression. "DH capital of the world. " Before you all give in to war because of those insults, why not ponder the root causes for this. Do'nt we all in a way (deep inside) treat our house helps as lower class? Don't we smirk at the thought of being garbage workers? Wake up....every one of us is a racist inside...it is in our genes. ( let Marian Rivera and Pokwang sit side by side on a booth then tell me whos booth will have more people. Both are outright celebrities but the inner racists of us willeventually pin us down specially the "tupperwares out there" NO OFFENSE PLEASE) IT IS BY BEING LOWLY WORKERS THAT WE ARE PERCIEVED AS ONE... Think and act as professionals and they would treat us all sa professionals. I repeat, I am not against employment and being a migrant worker. My point is there should be enough jobs for all Filipinos so that we need not be slaves of other lands. To be thought as businessmen not slave country. Where would we find that enough work? From our businessmen. More business means more money for our capitalists (I was referring to our fellowmen) More jobs and better economy. Instead of our president going trips abroad wooing investors to come to our country (to give us employment where they get richer using our resources and we getting leftovers) Let this be a wake up call to our government: "HELP THE ENTREPRENEURS SPECIALLY THE SMALL ONES AND THE ASPIRING ONES. DON'T BE SELFISH AND MIND YOURSELVES...THINK FOR OUR COUNTRY.."(if you even care)

that's enough hatred for a day.....hope to write again soon....

Root Crisis: Prologue

“An object deviates from its predicted path and does not appear when an object is watched and is awaited.”

There’s no customer yet, and I’m free to blog all I want.

One of my greatest frustrations in life, I always ask myself, when there’s so much evil (money) in this world, Why only a few has it and someone like me lack it so much? Why while there’s so much money today, only a fraction of society get hold on to it?

There’s so many theories about it. And some I am most confident about: Filipinos’

1. Employee Mentality
2. Reward yourself Mentality
3. Ego Finances
   
4. Crab Mentality
5. Tahong Mentality
   

Whether you agree or not, those mentalities deprive us of a chance to create a stable finance status.

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I was interrupted for two days...my landlady is threatening to evict me, the bank threatens to turn to collecting agencies, and the phone and internet company is threatening to disconnect me. What's with threats nowadays? Do you think someone whose decently running a business would run for a months' rent, a months' bill and mortgage? You fools! What will happen is you'll lose a hundred customers. You'll lose me for sure. and my referrals and my friends and my colleagues and my relatives and a whole lot more. This time of depression is nothing but temporary, so its not wise to crack your credit lines. After I survive this, (if I will) I bet you you'll never see my name on your list again. Which reminds me: That's a good theory why we don't prosper. We're so greedy. We think of others so lowly. That's just my opinion. So sue me. Yeah you ciditigi...

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I was interrupted again for one day so my blog could also be called Time Crisis ( I love that Game) Anyway, I will just postpone my blog about root crisis on another session and just blabber about for the rest of this post.

My spirits are broken this past days because of many problems that haunt me. I need not enumerate kasi baka maiyak pako. (I might cry). I remember yesterday I typed the words "please help me Lord on the google bar. And boy how helpful! I got so many sites giving inspirational messages then selling something in the end...gosh. I got one site (need not tell) that's okay but It has a huge traffic (I guess) that it took me an hour of loading and still It doesn't finish and I can't access it. Then I typed I want to kill myself then walaaaaahh! there's a site that's helping me cope by stalling me with good words telling me to wait a little bit longer ( saying it would only take a short while just read along then after that you can proceed to kill yourself if you still want to... NICE WORDS...Maybe there's so many desperate people nowadays....Is the world gonna end? I hope not...And I hope to find new light before I decide to turn my lights off...

The Root of All Evil part 2

Like what I’ve said that money can’t buy you happiness…blah blah blah…happier….therefore when I said that money is the root of all evil, then we can make use of evil things to make some good in this world. Sounds crazy even I was confused not of what I meant but of how I stated my sentence from the beginning.

What? Use evil for good? Let me cite an example: You bought a new component system. That’s luxury. Then instead of listening to music all day long inside your room why not try to form a group then launch parties for street children. Okay okay I sounded lame, but it’s the truth.

Talk about investments. Ever wonder how institutions, grant organizations, award bodies, and charity foundations get funding? One of the answer: Investments. Trust me coz I graduated from one. I am an alumnus of The Sisters of Mary School. Pretty tough huh. ( then why am I babbling about negativism and sore loserness? If I find the answer I’ll let you know). Well let’s talk about investments later. My point is when I for example create one foundation and names it after me (which is the case most of the time) (LIKE: de Jorge foundation for free college education to poor, orphaned sexy pretty girls….JUST KIDDING) Ask yourself, why would I create a charity institution then banner my name next to it? Surely my name and of my descendants will surely be a brand name, celebrity, elite status. I help, I’m famous, my family famous, more talk, more opportunities, more money. Trust me, That’s always the case.

Hey…correct me if you think I’m wrong. Say all you want. It’s my opinion. But I know I’m always right.

I begin to feel not up to the task when talking about positive things. Believe me, I’m a positive thinking guy. ( it’s my inner self that’s negative, and they always fight) If I’m not positive thinking, I would have been dead by now. ( already killed myself because of so many problems) My writing becomes monotonous, or I start to blend negative things on my positive theme. Forgive me I guess I was just sour graping coz I know what I want to do, I know what to plan next when I get to my dream. (financial indipendece) but here I am not getting a bit nearer my dream. When I think about that I become frustrated. No, I become furious…ROOOOAARRRR..

The Root of All Evil

“Money is the root of all evil. But without roots everything dies”

“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it’s a sure tool to make yourself and others happy, thereby making you happier”. It’s my twist to an old adage. (Hmmm, maybe the fact that I twist many things, adages, and beliefs to my liking may have caused misfortune in the first place. I think too much..) Surely money can’t buy everything but for me it’s surely true that money makes the world go round.

You can be a happy family without cash, but the mere lack of money can cause hunger, sickness, lack of nutrition, education mounting to family breakdown and eventually ending a person and his family whom he says can live without money dead. Let me ask you something. If you live in the urban areas which we will both presume you don’t mean to since birth, Can you live with your loved ones without eating? You may boast of a fact that “ We live only by our own means, planting crops on our small garden, selling spare harvest to pay for our necessities.” Then here comes the reaper: a greedy businessman or a government official decided to forfeit your land for some “for the nation” project. (it still happens in the Philippines up to now) give you so much cash (if your lucky coz sometimes they treat you as aliens in your own land) You thought you couldn’t spend for a lifetime say, 1 Million. For some of us, 1 million seemed an endless fortune well. An endless supply of money. ( you think? Then you’re wrong) In reality, you could actually lose it so fast that even I could spend it faster than you could say “savings account”. Now, when all the money is spent Can you still say you can’t live without money? Would you plant your crops in the highway? And it all boils back down from the beginning. You lose food, education, breakdown, blah blah blah… and DIE. Definitely money is an integral part of society. “we can all live without it...remove money from the system.” Do you want to mess America? Chaos…..Yeah like a communist if we can all be converted and yes I believe we can all live without cash if we all want to, if you like to return to the stone age and all the dinosaurs come back to life… Sounds Cool (and sarcastic and lame and corny and stupid)

"Money is like a sixth sense, you can’t make use of the other five without it.”
You can’t see if you can’t take care of your eyes. Say, good nutrition, poor lighting while studying. When eyesight deteriorates, you can’t even afford a pair of glasses. Yes folks, this is the typical 3rd class Filipino. You can’t buy a hearing aid? Can’t afford an mp3 player to enjoy your hearing senses while you still have it. If you are modest about your finances, you can’t even buy a transistor radio for goodness sake. Good thing we can steal music from our neighbors. While they’re listening to music the overflow of sound we still could hear. (Sorry but I can’t help but to add this. Some tactless individuals can buy all the luxury they can afford, from the latest gadgets, phones and players, while compromising the bare necessities and the overlooked task to prepare for retirement. When the health and youth are gone and you haven’t a penny to spend, You can’t enjoy listening to music anymore.) Can’t taste good food? Rotting and dying in your rut without even experiencing a fancy to your palettes. Fragrance, flowers? Oh the stench of your dilapidated home if you could call it, in a nearby “estero”. How could you feel the warmth of the touch of your family, after your spouse left you for some “richer” fellow.
I may sound so negative. But it’s the sore truth that without the spending power in the world we live in today, you can’t enjoy the good things in life much less enjoy even the most basic of our needs and birthright.

Some claim to have died in peace in some God-forsaken province without having to bother having or spending money. I salute them…Good for them. But can we all follow suit? Can we just all go there to that place where money is not a factor. Yippey!!! Then what? When 20 million people go there to that so called paradise, the need for money will follow. Coz the resources wouldn’t fit and it would be paradise no more. I’m open to critics. I love it coz I’m a critic myself. I stand to my belief that in this world, without money you are nothing. Nothing but a second rate trying hard “coffee cut” (how stupid is that) I can explain, When you’re broke and all you eat is coffee, then all the disappointments and trials looms down on you, YOU CUT YOURSELF! That’s too much coffee then you CUT! ( how stupideeeer)

A journey of no reason

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I’m back again…whew! That was fast. A customer paused me on what I was doing. Now after the sexy lady patron of mine left, Now I have time for this pointless escapade of mine. I think I'm losing the drive to go on. I'm not sure if because I was interrupted or I was just overwhelmed by the gorgeous customer? Well, need to continue.

I don't think what I'm telling here would be of interest to any readers on the net. But This is my biography. Walang pakialaman! ( just kidding ). I think (or I just keep telling myself) that writing this thing of mine gives me a sense of fulfillment, a simple outlet to let go of my inner feelings and frustrations, keeping me alive.

I have a blog at friendster. I wish I could insert those clips here. There are some tagalog words, but I don't mind. I hope it would not compromise my blog here at google. I just want to keep it for it's sentimental value. Taddaaaahhhh.... here it is.

(From friendster to blogger with LOVE?)

Ang Hirap Kumita ng Pera (8Y19)

One of my favorite adages in life is - “Money can’t buy you happiness. But it’s a sure way to make others happy thereby making you happier.” But the fact is, finding money is as hard as giving up your personal happiness in order to meet it. I have tried so many things just to earn that hard to find wealth to no avail. Sometimes I think that God just could’nt help but take joy in seeing poor men became poorer despite enormous efforts and rich men grow richer while just easing around. Forgive me friends if I am losing hope to a point of sinning agaist God. I’m a catholic with deep origins. But I guess all this experiences made me a near unbeliever. Well today is another day and I guess I’ll have to start and fight to live again…

Live or let die

Another difficulty in managing a business is the businessman’s ability to be shrewd at times. In the early stages of my career as a businessman, I have met a couple of personalities that changed my views in life. I was too good to them that I trusted them so much to a point that they cheated on me. (o masyado lang talagang makakapal mukha nila). I lost so much of my time effort money and talent trying to please them but I got nothing i return. I was just used as leverage. (pero san na sila ngayon). Ang bilis ng karma. Nalugi lahat ng bisnes nila.

At this point I was more careful in choosing the persons that I help. I don’t ask something in return. I just want to be recognized, and PAY YOUR OBLIGATIONS even if they are late. Its better than not settling them at all. If someone helps you to start your business help them back specially when you kow outrightly that they also need your help. (It’s OBVIOUS)

Lack of Gut? or Lack of Luck

I have a wonderful business. It coincides with my passion and I love working with it. The problem is that I lack the resources to fund my business. I other words, it’s incomplete. I learned a lot in this business. Deciding to run a business with inadequate capital is like taking your hard earned money on top of a bridge then throwing them away. Worst part is you could be dragged down with it. In short it can be fatal.

I’m running my business for almost 6 months now. But due to lack of funds it doesn’t earn much. There are times not even enough to pay the rent and other basic utilities. Its like suicide at times. But what can I do? I need this job or my family will starve. I hate this life…

I would like to thank Friendster.com for keeping my blog and to blogger for allowing me to insert them in my new blog...thanks

Waaaait a minute. The title says a journey of no reason but where's the journey? And why no reason? Maybe because I'm too much fed up in life that I think of things so passionately, so sentimental, so gloomy, that It makes no sense but I like it so just stick with it I guess.

The Start of My Pointless Journey

I'm broke, my business is failing, my attempts futile, my perseverance crashing, my family starving and my debt is haunting me. Yet before I say goodbyes to this barren, greedy world, I feel it's time to write about my life, how miserable I am, of my costly mistakes, my very bad luck, and my stupid misdirections. Time is constantly running out. And still here I am, typing my guts out.

This is my veeeery first blog here.....maybe I had been lured here on a promise to earn anything at first. But my inner negative side prevents me, telling myself it would never work, that only physical work earns. How in the world would someone pay you for writing nothing? Well it's vacation time for the schools. And my almost bancrupt printing business beside some god-forsaken public school will now be if not TOTALLY DEAD, will surely be in Coma if not for continuing funds to still revive it till next school season. More money to pay for the rent, utilities like electricity water, internet and phone bills, my allowance in opening the office everyday. Money, a tool I'm very scarce at today. Hope to think of another racket to earn cash.

Well, since it's vacation time might as well give it a try. No customers means more free time. More time to spend writing about my blog. Hoooray! at last some good news for me, I guess..
Forgive me for my english....I'm a spontaneous speaker not very mindful of my grammar...

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It's been more than a week since I last reviewed my blog. I haven’t got time to go to my shop for a while because of the holy week, and today is my first day with no classes. My shop near a school but far from the people traffic, bad sign. My shop earning measly during class season and now with little patrons, worse. My shop offering little services because of lack of funds, now having to pay all utilities in this time of crisis, worst. The only positive thing about this vacation season is that I will have more time for my blog.

What can I say? I don’t even know how to write a blog. I suck at html codes and I have nothing more to say than to tell the whole world how miserable I am. Might as well stick with it, I guess. I think I’ll just make a little autobiography of myself. A man so poor that he wasted all his intelligence and talent (wow), not pursuing college education coz he can’t afford it. A man wasting his precious time, the only abundant resource he had at that time to a bastard company who’s only mission is to gain profits compromising it’s associates’ future, wasting their golden time. Time they should have used to improve their financial futures, instead worked hard for a measly income, losing their youth as a result. Now aging and hopeless, they are just dumped. What a great corporation, advertising excellence in craftsmanship with core values but deep within not living up by them. Hail to the three diamond company!!!

Wait a customer is coming. I need to prepare a smile as if there is no problems. They must not sense my negativity or my business will surely be affected. Till next time to meeee…byesss