A Terrible Day

"Jonelta Banana"

" Amidst a vast dark and gloomy sky peeps a thread of light"

Humbug...

Sorry if my gaphics are bad....I'm having a bad day....

That's it...my landlady warned me that if I could not produce cash tomorrow for my rent, they would be giving my office to another tenant. I could not blame them. That's the reality, they are doing business and when a business goes bad, they have to take actions like what they just did. But deep inside I could not help but despair. "Why this time?" I could have easily produced that amount if not for the vacation season. It's just not fair for me because of their timing. Now I am thinking, "Would I hold on or just let go?" I'm having a big trouble deciding today. And I could not help but cry. Thank God There are no customers. They might think I'm losing my mind.

I could not think of a possible solution right now. The time limit is just too steep. I could not help but faintly blame God. I'm sorry if I'm sinning today. I just could not help it. I could not help but blame Him for forsaking me. Deep inside I'm trying to calm myself, telling myself that it is just one of those trials God has blessed me. And He knows that I can overcome it, just to make me stronger. But another side of me mourns. "Why me? Why this time? Are You not even feeling a bit of pity for my family? Even just for my son? Or You just don't care?" I'm so sorry for my blasphemy. I just couldn't help myself.

Now calm down....I could not calm down...The fire raging inside is so intense I could not hold it down. Maybe I'm thinking I'm on the verge of insanity. Sometimes I even compare myself to people who killed themselves, seeing myself in them, feeling and noticing some common signs. I even see signs in me being crazy. "What if I get outside right now, stab anyone who crosses my path, then kill myself later?" I keep on fighting that feeling. I need someone to talk to...



My Nephew who's as poor as me right now...
9424