Extreme Weathering

"Like simple drops of water can weather a mountain. With steady steps no matter how small, can accomplish the impossible."

It's been weeks or months of extreme sacrifice just to maintain living on this earth. Hard work, determination and fervent hope for a brighter tomorrow pushes me on. Weathering my way in this money bound society.

It's been so long since I have last visited my blog, that I cannot remember when. I was so busy the last weeks I have no time for some leisure writing. I managed moving to a new apartment, which by the way cannot be accomplished by someone else. I Managed the transfer of school by my son.
I managed rearranging the shop with miraculously minimal resources. (Still looks dilapidated though)

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time is really scarce for me. I don't have time even to finish my post. Haaay, just post it anyway.

Follow The Seed

"Happiness held is the seed. Happiness shared is the flower."

I'm listening to Taylor Swift's "Love Story" right now. I can't help but fall in love with that voice. (not to mention the gorgeous face) But really, even though I never saw her face, I would still love that voice. I'm not a fan of country music, but that's voice is just something.

Glad to hear about people giving Joy to others in their own little way. Thru their songs, their blogs, their jokes, their funny videos. Kinda admit it, it makes me smile amidst my problems. Getting hooked on twitter. I love the way I get to see links to good reading stuff. Not to mention the boring ads. But it's ok. One thing I noticed is that almost "almost" twitterers are kind of well-off. They like to brag about their good lives, the vacation paradises they have been, the jetlag on their endless escapades, their new gadgets, their prominent schools and other bragging 101 blah blah blah. I thought we are in the financial crisis? Sometimes I feel out of place there. Is there a place on the net just like twitter who's members can be just who they really are. I maybe just being paranoid, but there are really some people who can't help but brag of something they have (or just imagining it to feed their ego). Specially some of my own countrymen, they are so boastful they sound stupid. (Just envy I guess) Really, some place twitterlike but only good stuff would be nice.

I like some twitbuddies on the other hand. Mostly those who write not for commercial reasons but for personal ones. i love to read their opinions, their outlooks in life, their hearts talking to me. That's lame... but it's just me. Would love listening for hours on somebody elses problems, failures and hopes than see someone selling something. That's too bad, coz we all need money ye?

I hope I can find more people who would love to tell the world about their feelings. It makes me feel human. People sharing their lives in their own personal ways are awesome. They may not know it, but it still makes a difference.


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Dark Skies

Dark Skies

Dark is the sky where lightning hides
Where thunder begins to roar
And blocks the warmth of the almighty sun
from shining on earth below
It creeps and waits for the time to weep
And flood our land with rain
The darkness will unfold in sleep
to wash the world and send it's grief
So cold, so dark, so lonely

Dark is the sky so as my mind
It weeps but no one sees
because it clouds my eyes from being seen
And all they see is a faintly grin
So as to wash the hurt inside
And in the darkness I shall hide
Until the sorrows are washed away
And I can smile and be okay

But until then
I'll just keep on pouring the rain
thinking it's better to keep crying
than to wield my lightning and
roar ye thunder
Just mask in the darkness of my skies
Until the rainbow is finally born
The pain and sorrow to hide is better
Until the lights peeps toward home.

Black Saturday

Taylor Swift Cross-stitch...9516

.... will continue tomorrow...

"Why do you seek the living one among the dead? He is not here, but he has been raised."
(Luke 24:5-6)

Humbug...

Well it's Saturday today. I have managed to pay half of my obligations on time, and promised to settle the balance on Tuesday. Today is gloomy, Saturday means a few patrons, multiplying debt, wasted utilities, and broken spirits.

If not for my microbial faith I might have passed out. If not for the net who entertains and gobbles up my time and if not for Twitter who messes with your mind. There were many who are following my profile but I'm not dumb. They just want to advertise. You follow one dietitian and tons of dietitians will flood your inbox. Money biz talk shows and Robots, yeah robots. Twittering every one minute and repeating and repeating about 20 messages alternately. Hmppp... messes with the time line, making you lose track or the real people's messages.

But Why accept them?

Because I am friendly, and they have done me no wrong. Why wont I?

Why not block them?

I'm not that bad. Let's give them a chance. There's some sense in their sayings sometimes.

Tried reporting?

That's a no no. Let others do it for them. I'm not nosy.

Wait wait, I think I'm going crazy talking to my self. It's not good to do it here. I'll just do it in twitter.

This Saturday's making me insane...

"When you talk to yourself, at least you know someone is listening. And it would always agree."

Ultimatum

" If doing something is hard, then it is not worth doing." Homer S.














My digital sketch of an angel...





Today is the last day for me. If I do not have the money, I'm gone. Goodbye friendster, goodbye ym, goodbye multiply, goodbye blogger, goodbye twitter.

It's up to other people that I depend on today if they can deliver or not, if they don't, then it's bye bye.

I just registered at twitter yesterday, and I am enjoying it. Too bad it's on the verge f not lasting that long.

The only thing strengthening me right now is my plea and faith that God would help me and my family.

"God, I tried my best.
This is all I can do.
And I messed it up.
I implore you to lend a hand.
Please help clean this mess I have gotten to.
You are my only hope.
And I cannot ever find anyone better for the job.
I admit I had been not so great a Christian lately.
I am so sorry.
I always forget You.
I have let my problems cover my eyes,
that I cannot see You.
I was so busy fixing my troubles,
I have forgotten holding Your hand.
I was so busy waddling on my up to neck trials,
I have forgotten that You were carrying me.
I promise not to break my covenant,
and strive to uphold it not like before.
To show You I am really willing,
and seriously pleading for Your help.
I could walk no longer.
Please, I am letting You carry me again.
That I may praise You,
and tell the whole world,
what a great God I have got.
Please, help me. Amen..."

Amen.

Cry

"Let your voice come up to me in the day of trouble; I will be your saviour, so that you may give glory to me." Psalm 50:15

Humbug...

I needed help yesterday because tomorrow is the last day of my ultimatum before my poor little business will be shut down. I need about five thousand pesos. But I barely accumulated five hundred. Money is coming on Friday afternoon. But the payment is due at noon. And I'm not sure if the arriving money is even sufficient enough. After all the hardships, sweat and blood I had invested on my business, this is all I will get. Someone offered me help, a little weird one too. And I'm not sure if it can help me save face and my family. He asked me to write 20 things I am thankful about from the depths of my heart. Chuckles, like it could give me anything. But I felt the sincerity on his words and that he is so serious. Imagine I don't even know this guy. Maybe God touched me. Well, might as well give it a try. Here goes...

Twenty things I am grateful for:

1. I am thankful that me and my family are still alive today.
2. I am thankful we do not have to go to the hospital that often.
3. I am thankful we have a little something if not nothing to eat each day.
4. I am thankful my 7 year old motorcycle is still running even with little maintenance.
5. I am thankful my PC is still running after that lightning burned my lan card.
6. I am thankful I still have a couple of friends every now and then.
7. I am thankful the nails and other sharp objects steer away from my tires when I have no money for vulcanizing.
8. I am thankful car nappers do not set their eyes on my old, rusty bike. (like they would try)
9. I am thankful my I still don't have amnesia or Alzheimer's even though I am malnourished and I could still write my blog in English.
10. I am thankful the internet company still doesn't cut my service even though I'm always late for payment.
11. I am thankful there are still a few patrons coming to my shop even though I now have a rich competitor.
12. I am thankful I still earn just enough to pay the loan shark each day.
13. I am thankful I earn just enough to have one meal each day.
14. I am thankful my trusty old shoes still don't rip apart. ( just a bit)
15. I am thankful my one and only pants are still intact.
16. I am thankful our relatives take care of my son while in vacation, so I do not have to worry what to feed him.
17. I am thankful for my wife because she is the most understanding person I know. ( even though she looses it sometimes)
18. I am thankful I still remember to call God once in a while even though there are times I am angry at Him.
19. I am thankful God still loves me, and not strike me with lightning because of my painful cries.
20. I am thankful for the one who asked me to do this because he reminded me no to forget to ask God for help with this one.

Whew! took me an hour. Now both my mind and chest feels a bit light. And so are my pockets.

“If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?”

Find me twit twit..

Rolling Stones

"A rolling stone gathers no moss."

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Every coin hs two faces. And so is this phrase....
On one point of view, this quote means that if you do not move, no actions, no effort and no struggle on your part, you will not get anything. Meaning if you are not a rolling stone, you will gather moss or rust or anything you can call it. That's simple enough.

On another view, a rolling stone means an arrogant, overbearing individual. It can also be someone that is always on the go, on the move. Rolling and rolling over everybody he never had the chance to gather some "moss." Moss now described positively. Meaning if you always roll, you gather nothing. It means sometimes you must stay put firmly on the ground once in a while.
Sounds simple too. (my head starts to spin now)

Since I was young I could never decide which of the two meanings I would accept. It has been a puzzle for me since my elementary years. Humbug..

Well there is really very little connection between those quote and what I am writing today. It's nothing, I just felt a little connection.

I have been busy these couple of days planning and executing our transfer of residence. Not to mention the problems arising because we do not have sufficient funds these days. It was a neck breaking, sweat flooding, mind boggling experience. And my back aches so much today because I had to carry all (take note), all our belongings just to save some cash, not getting the services of a mover. We just rented a jeepney of a friend. We had to pack our things in 30 minutes because the rains prevented us from going home from the other town. I had to carry our things a couple of meters to the rented jeep, put on my clothes, race to our destination by my motor bike, then upon getting there I had to carry them again to our new apartment. That sucks really. Then after a sleepless night beside our still very disorganized things, I had to go to work and later continue with our arrangement. Just the thought makes my knees shiver.

Well that's life. And if I don't move, I would gather moss. On the other point, If I stood still, a miracle may come, a lightning maybe. Never mind....

“You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need”


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Fists of Puny

"Time is a great teacher. But unfortunately it kills all of it's pupils."
- Louis Hector Berlioz

Humbug...

In my teenage years up to my early twenties I had this fascination about Bruce Lee. I am really intrigued about his one and three inch punches. I'm not sure if it really is possible, but I am a fan.

I once had a small and relatively cheap book about his one inch punch. But oh boy it was really rare. Somebody borrowed it a few years back. And now it's lost. (bait ko talaga) I could not found it on the net either. Until today...

I learned a new trick on how to use the Google search engine. I learned it from you tube...thanks..
And with a little bit of computer know how, you could easily access countless mp3's pdf's, e-books and the like.

Now I once again found my lost book(soft copy of course) and I will never ever lend it again.

Really time and experience will teach us in the hard way on how we should manage our assets. ( my book is so valuable for me) Even our closest of friends can sometimes be a burden. I was very loose before that I almost lost a fortune of my valuables from scrupulous people I once thought my friends. I am still friendly nowadays, but I learned to keep my treasures with extra care. Specially now that I do not have much of the purchasing power anymore.

Good grief, I need a break...


"Have fun with your life while it lasts. No one get's out of it alive."

"To Die or not to Die"

"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped."
-----Tony Robbins

The 15th of the month is coming. And it will be a hard time for me to decide whether I would stay on my place or leave. So many things I need to think about. It's like a billiard effect. Once the cue ball moves, eventually all the balls will move and it would take a great player, say, Efren Bata Reyes to calculate where each ball eventually ends.

I want to stay of course, maybe one reason is that I believe it would work out fine in the long run. Another reason might be my pride. Deep inside me I want them to see that I have persisted and is triumphant. I want them to be amazed and then snap! I will leave. "Mga mukhang pera!" " Sinungaling at manloloko!" " Walang pakundangan at walang awa!" Once I reverse our positions I will surely let you taste how hard you made it for me!!! Nice intentions. Maybe not that great. But who can blame me?

If ever I will leave, I will leave behind not only my work, source of income but a lot, A LOT of Obligations. They will be running after me. And I am not that kind of person. I pay my obligations everytime. Well, a little late this days (because I think I am at the lowest state of my life since I was born.) But never will I run from them.

I am also very apprehensive because of my son. I am sure he will have a hard time catching up with changing schools every year. How lovely fate provides...

I need to decide now. There is a chance I could survive for the next month. But with a very large cost that would or not be the nail for my coffin. I hope this is not the last for me. I believe I can do better that this. It's just that I am not so lucky this days. Funny life really is a paradox.

Sometimes I envy some of my past friends who had the chance to go to college. Who doesn't want that? They have endured most of their time in hardships and now they are rewarded. Me on the other hand had endured my own set of trials. But to no avail. But deep inside I am fighting. I will not falter. The right side of my brain continuous to battle. And dragging the weaker left. ( Is it supposed to be the left that is stronger?)

Now is the start of another day. And I would just not accept to die a loser.


Add Homer Simpson quotes to your profile!

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Funny Paradox

"Each Moment of life is a picture that you have never seen before or ever again. Enjoy life and make each moment beautiful."

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It's just hilarious to think how funny our world works. Life has so much puzzling events that may leave us breathless, downsized or just plain bewildered. In a world where once a child is born, so full of hope in this world. Thinking about all the great things he will soon discover. To find out that life is nothing but a great bumpy roller coaster ride. It's just enough up to him on how he could handle his own unique ride.

We all as children want to grow up so fast that we make our own dilemmas that affect us and our loved ones. When we get old, we realize we need to slow things down and want to grow up again.

We spend all our time and resources even our health and even sacrifice our friends and humanhood just to earn money. Then after wards we will spend all our money to restore back our health, our relationships, friends and pride, if we are still lucky.

We always look into the future, always anxious about what we will eat next, or spend next, that we forget that we are still living in the present.

We tend to forget the past. Never caring what our roots are. Not caring that everyone knows where we once were and just acting like we are in this position for an eternity.

We tend to live in the past, not moving forward. Not letting go of the past we forget that we must live in the present as our friends and family are. Not even realizing we are being dragged and becoming burden to others.

Clearly we are not masters of our time.

We tend to live like there's no tomorrow, later dying in our beds with regret, that we have never lived the life we should have.

Funny I am pondering about these things. And still not find the answers.

A poem from sms4smile.com once said:

Life is a paradox

Whatever u want, u don’t get

Whatever u get, u don’t enjoy

Whatever u enjoy, is not permanent

Whatever is permanent, is boring …!

Cry Baby

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Psalm 27

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes,
came upon me to eat up my flesh,
they stumbled and fell.

3 Though a host should encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear:
though war should rise against me,
in this will I be confident.

4 One thing have I desired of the LORD,
that will I seek after;
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to behold the beauty of the LORD,
and to inquire in his temple.

5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion:
in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me;
he shall set me up upon a rock.

6 And now shall mine head be lifted up
above mine enemies round about me:
therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy;
I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.

7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice:
have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face;
my heart said unto thee,
Thy face, LORD, will I seek.

9 Hide not thy face far from me;
put not thy servant away in anger:
thou hast been my help;
leave me not, neither forsake me,
O God of my salvation.

10 When my father and my mother forsake me,
then the LORD will take me up.

11 Teach me thy way, O LORD,
and lead me in a plain path,
because of mine enemies.

12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies:
for false witnesses are risen up against me,
and such as breathe out cruelty.

13 I had fainted, unless I had believed
to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

14 Wait on the LORD:
be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart:
wait, I say, on the LORD.

9507
This was the second time my landlord opted to send me away. It's vacation time, and there are no foot traffic. I have already reimbursed half of my expenses which was supposedly whole and they say that half the amount will be final. That's really unfair. My competitor is now operational and my shop still looks dilapidated because of lack of funds. The 5-6 collector will be coming even with this "emong" typhoon and I still have no sales for the day. The banks are already calling. Life would be such an insult if there is no God to salvage me. I am once again on the verge of loosing hope and I could not get help from my friends.

I guess God is my only friend right now. I hope He is listening....

"He who does not hope to win has already lost." -- Jose Joaquin Olmedo

"Decidophobia"

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." Marie Curie

humbug...

9506

Life is really unfair. I felt I have just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I feel slumped. I feel small. I feel a little bit of helplessness. I feel not up to myself today.

Time is quickly passing. Moving at an incredible speed. And I cannot keep up. I feel I am being left behind. Just when did being poor considered a crime? My obligations and due payments are coming to haunt me again. And I am still not prepared. I have not yet summed up the exact amount.

My competitor is now open. I hope he has luck better than mine. He doesn't know that we will both perish. He still doesn't know what mess he has come up to.

Competition does not bother me much. What bothers me is that my income generation is not sufficient to cover everything. I feel I am losing hope. In the first place, I opened in this location to prepare for the upcoming construction of a low-cost subdivision one lot next to mine. I could also grab a lot so I will have a bigger market share and a residence nearby. All I have to do is survive a few months then I could already have a strong customer base. But I miscalculated the timing. It's been months and there hasn't been a construction going on. There has been not a single bulldozer nor a shovel touching the large vacant lot. What's taking them so long? Maybe the big politician behind this aims to postpone it till the election season. I could not keep up with the crisis situation down here. I already lack funds and my impatience is building. I need to act now.

News about the looming shutdowns at the automotive industry says it is imminent. And factories nearby are following suit. The government still continuously keeps a blind eye at these happenings and opts to redirect the people's attention, pursuing subsidies that are only short termed remedies to our ailing nation. Continuously bragging about new jobs, poor Juan just finds out there is a job mismatch and still does not get hired. Continuously bragging about it's policies to uplift and aid the SME's, poor entrepreneur soon loose grip and closes down because of lack of aid. And the ever growing crocodile illegal recruitment agencies still flooded by aspiring ofw's, later grieving over huge debt but no work and does not even have the money to buy a ticket home. It all boils down to one thing. There is a bigger pandemic we have to face. Maybe larger than the influenza A (H1N1). It is dying of hunger. Of flash floods and landslides and nonstop typhoons and global warming. And we Filipinos are not prepared. Or just pretending to be. Our government bannering it's good deeds with a hidden agenda of campaigning, the cha cha, and using our taxes to fund their exploits and to maintain their also falling businesses. They are so busy wiping their butts they have forgotten us.

My stand for now is to continue to fight. I am still beyond the brink of letting go. And I'm afraid to lose it all so no decisions for now. Maybe God will make a way.

Sometimes life just isn't fair, but that shouldn't stop you from trying to see justice done today. It's not silly to believe in fairness, it's admirable. Hang on to your idealism with all your might -- it will help you adjust to any unexpected situation, be more self-sufficient, and keep you safe from people who don't like to play by the rules. Everything cannot be completely equitable in every situation, but you can work to make it as close as possible. (ast.com)

Is Pessimism a Crime?

This is an article from livestrong.com I find it very interesting and useful. I give full credit to them and their article. Their article really moved me.


How does pessimism and negativity affect my behavior?

When I am negative or pessimistic I:

* look at the worst side of a situation.
* say what ``I'm not'' rather than what ``I could be.''
* lack the belief that I could change.
* lose hope in the future.
* take the opposing view in any positive conversation.
* am unable to make upbeat or uplifting comments about myself or others.
* turn all conversations into griping, complaining or bitching sessions.
* have nothing good to say about myself or others.
* complain about the inequities of life.
* try nothing new or challenging because I feel that I will fail.
* get bitter over how people treat me--now and in the past.
* put down new, creative and inventive ideas as impossible.
* limit my horizons, which results in limiting my personal growth.
* take no risks.
* challenge those who are looking for the "up'" side of a tragedy, failure or disaster.
* ridicule those who believe in the power and mercy of their ``Higher Power.''
* ridicule attempts to rectify a dysfunctional situation.
* resist altering my way of thinking, because I feel nothing will help or make a difference.

end of article

Thanks to livestrong.com for the great clip. It was very depressing to see that a pessimist would be all those things. Maybe I do not totally agree to what they have said because I am not totally a pessimist. (Maybe? I guess) Nevertheless I feel that we could not really eradicate negativism in our world simply because it is a world! It is not heaven. This is reality and the reality is that there are bad things. And when there are bad things, we should be ready for them if we want ot get past those bad things. If we only look at the bright side, we won't know how to deal when the dark side comes which is by the way inevitable. All I say is we need this balance because we are human. We need this balance for us to survive. It's just my opinion. And I stand before it. comprende?

Fireflash

" Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer."

Humbug...

9505

I was going to buy something from a store about 10 meters from my shop when I noticed that the store owner was putting up some equipment. The thing that shocked me is that their equipment is almost identical to mine. (down to the brand and model) Later I found out that they will be putting up a shop that provides exactly the service that my shop provides. And my source,(a relative of my landlord) said that the reason of the puzzling similarity is because they have been watching me and discovering my work. I felt shattered. Why now? Why at this time that I am lacking in capital is there a competitor coming to crush me? Well, that is life and I have to deal with it... I guess..

They may have the funds, but I have the experience...hehehe... They bought a model same as mine, and I am sure they will encounter the same problems I had encountered. Problems that I am very proud I have overcome, by skill and sheer luck I guess. They are going to have a hard time I am sure... One thing that will make their life less miserable is if they have a very large surplus capital for their problems. But one thing is for sure... they will be as heartbroken as I have been once they discovered the problems that will arise once they start to operate shop.

I love my shop. It may be small and measly funded but it's everything that I've got. I sometimes want to quit because of it's low income generation but I still believe it will survive. And though I only learned this practice on my own, at home, I believe I have learned enough to survive this crisis in my life. I have learned enough to be able to learn more, to learn better, learn faster. I have made my mistakes earlier so I have learned from them earlier. I make mistakes quicker to straighten them and strengthen myself and my life's craft. I think that would be an advantage.

Another advantage that calms me down is that I have the lowest price in town. I claim it boldly because even before I started shop, I have already canvassed their prices and bench marked them on mine thereby getting the lowest price with great quality. Some say specially my suppliers that my price is almost borderline break even. I believe them. That is one reason that I am not generating enough income nowadays. That is one of my mistakes. Funny I am planning to pull my prices up a bit this next school season, but I think I should postpone it a little bit to cope with my upcoming competitor. My suppliers suggests me to price it up higher, but I want my goods to be affordable. Small profit in large quantity is my motto. They claim that no one will ever be able to beat my pricing. Any centavo lower and there would be no profit anymore. It may be not good business for me, but surely not for them either...

I want to thank my friends. They had helped me become strong a little bit. Would I found out my competitor earlier I would have quitted and die. I am grateful that even though a little bit frustrated, I had turned it into a driving force that would make me strive more and not just fall down. I think We all have our strenghts, and weaknesses. We all have our own trade secrets... And next to the "God will make a way" saying of mine is my old and ever legendary ego motto since high school, that I thought I have already lost: "No one can beat the JayuMaster!"

“A competitor will find a way to win. Competitors take bad breaks and use them to drive themselves just that much harder. Quitters take bad breaks and use them as reasons to give up. It's all a matter of pride.”

"Arrrgh-mageddon"

WWW.AKOMISMO.ORG

Thanks to www.goroadachi.com for his nice photo...

I have been wondering on this new campaign on ads this days. I first saw it on Manny Pacquiao's fight with Ricky Hatton. Some say its a campaign to urge us Pinoys to be responsible for our actions. I am not yet much aware of it's true purpose though, nor who perpetrated it. Whoever started it must have a purpose right? I hope it's really to push us to stand on our own and take due actions in pushing our motherland forward, and not just a publicity stunt of a wealthy trapo (polititian) aiming for power. One thing is sure. Their marketing strategy works. They have already aqcuired twenty-three thousand plus pledges the moment I visited their site, a lot in a short span of time.

I'm a born critic. I may trust easily, but I am really a big pessimist. It won't hurt if I comment on this ad campaign, would it? I think I see a big hole in this campaign. It is really a good thing to remind us to take responsibility for our country. Yes, to do something than to complain. To fight rather than to blame. But I am a person who likes to blame, as millions of pinoys are actually. We have our government to be blamed at of course. They are there not to be sitting ducks while earning from our precious taxes. Taxes that should have been food for our starving families. They are ther to ensure our growth and protection. Not to protect themselves and their money and businessess. They are there to ensure our future, not to be securing theirs. So who's to blame? Now that we are in a slump? Who's to blame?

We should fight to take our own actions so that by our own little way we could tip our country back in the map. For example, I have made my own pledge in the ako mismo wall. If my computation is right, if I stick to my promise, that would help the country by about 1/200 millionth (%). That's a big help....(chuckles). If all of us pinoys do our own pledge (which is unlikely) That would sum up to about 40%. Now that's great. But I think what's important (not that what our commitments will be no matter how small we are are useless but great actually) again what's important right now is the commitment of those in power.

No matter if all of us makes a commitment and does it righteously, thats only half to the solution to our problems. 50% is better than o% I know. But those in power should be the one taking charge in promoting their own commitment because they are the ones in power, and anything they do will naturally affect our motherland and our future. Whoever started this campaign should look back, this campaign was already here since the beginning of our independence. But did it bring us change? Nothing. As long as there are "rats" in the government, no campaign will ever succeed.

And what's with the dog tag? Would it remind us to keep our oaths if we see ourselves wearing it? It looks cool though. And I'm sure pinoys would readily want it and will wear it with pride. But this is my prediction, give me two years and this tag will only be seen in ones drawer or collections cabinet. It would help of course. But no tag or sign or shirt or anything material would really instill us a change of society. It is in our heritage, to be hard headed and materialistc people.

Once the government changes itself, (not the cha-cha Gloria's been frantic about) then there would be a radical change. This is my promise: Once there is not a single Pinoy family who worries what to eat or where to send their children to school or how to make their loved ones feel healthy and recover from sickness or on how to make a stable future, then there would be a CHANGE.

On the other hand, my prediction that is almost totally impossible would likely fail as expected, then we will once again blame the government, induce another "People Power", or just crawl to the ground. The government is the one that should be giving an oath. A pledge they would live with under pain of death. If not, then this campaign would again be just part of our gloomy history.

I still applaud this campaign's will and righteousness. I may have blotched it by my critisisms but deep in my heart, I wish for the best. I hope it will work. I'll start by doing my part. I hope you all do yours.

If not all of us would do our part, then there is no hope anymore. Truly the global warming issue is the hint of the nearly coming end of the world. And we are surely to blame... not just the government but all of mankind. Kinda too late huh?

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhmageddon is coming, please contribute to stop it.....

"The catterpillar might say it's the end of the world, but actually it is the birth of a butterfly."

Cloaked Assassin

“A skilful leech is better far, than half a hundred men of war.”

“Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat”
-Samuel Butler-

Hooray... as I have predicted it, Money, este Manny did it again and with swift and powerful accuracy. Most of his downed opponents were legends in their own right. It's just the timing of Manny's rise was of great precision. Most of his downed opponents were on the brink of retirement. I mean they were all oldies! Have he fought them in the prime of their age and skill, the result would be different. Of course Manny would still win for me, but not that easily.

Once again the whole Philippines were paused the time manny stepped on the ring. There were no people on the streets, no vehicles around. The whole country stood still for a moment. The war in Mindanao was halted for a while, crime rates were almost zero, and the whole economy froze. Same as mine, my shop was closed the whole day, so today I don't have a cent to pay for my lender who's coming later to haunt me.... Haaaaaayyyy....

I envy Manny....He persevered so much to get to where he is today. I wish I could do the same. I also feel a little bit sad for him though, for he is having a silent killer in his trail.

The human instinct is a great phenomenon for us. It is blurredly explained and not all of us believe in the scientific studies. But it always baffles me. It is hard to explain and prove but we all know that it is real, we just don't accept it. We ignore it coz we cannot comprehend. Our egos continue to block reality.

What am I talking about? What silent killer? What phenomenon? The human instinct is the one killer I am talking about. Imagine if Pacman wasn't as famous as he is now? ( Sorry manny, your'e the best example eh) What if Pacman wasn't as rich and famous and powerful and wealthy and idolized as today? Would we care? He was very poor as a child. Where were his relatives? I'm sure if those people knew what Pacman would be in the future, they would have invested money and time for him! Where were his friends? Where were the stupid government who always and eternally promise help for poor pinoys but wasn't really there? Now that he is rich and famous and powerful and very much idolized, his family tree grew from a small household to a whole city....wow how amazing. Humans are leeches, I mean leeches would be kinder for they only feed as much as they can handle and is not picky. Humans on the other hand are more savage, more animals...Even if you take a bath a hundred times a day, perfume all you want, put gold all over your body, you will still be what you are. The humankind's instinct of sticking to you only when they can milk you is the truth, and it's my opinion, so argue all you can but you cannot convince me that you are only supporting your friend or your far far far far far relative. Humbug...where were you when he needed you? Now that he doesn't need you anymore you will say you support him? He doesn't even know you're his kin!

Never mind....Even if I speak here endlessly until the servers of Google are full to their limit no one will comprehend because we were programmed that way. That is the reasons there are saints, they are the chosen ones who accepted the truth and reality of the human mind... I'm not saying I am perfect...I may also be like everyone else. But I am aware of that fact and greatly distaste it. Maybe because I am angry at the world. Maybe because I see myself in manny's shoes when he still wasn't wearing one. Maybe I hate this world because the world is not here for me, Just like manny, the world wasn't there for him when he needed it. Now the world is greatly for him not for support, but because the world needed him. And when a man strove to attain his goal and his dreams crawling on his own, he will surely be disgusted to see leeches inching towards him, absent when he was down, present when he is up.

I may be angry at the world to say those, but it is the reality... Go on, let yourself be blind. The time you realize it would be too late, and it's not my fault. I admire Manny for being so generous and firmly rooted. I hope those leeches would feel the need to act human again....


Go Manny.....

“Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day.”

Manny Ponkyaw

I made a cartoon caricature of manny in PS. I wasn't doing much today.

I was thinking of a quote from the Pacman but I didn't find much. Luckily I found one on wordpress... thanks to leylander...

“Quotes!..
.
Quotes!…
.
Quotes?….
.
Quotes?!…..”
.
.
.
- Manny Pacquiao calling the attention of his coach Freddie Roach.

And here's another one from you tube:

An interview after the Barrera fight:
" So I tried my best so a give a good fight I know he tried his best to give a good fight but I know my Philippines is happy I use a gloves I like a "Clitoris" (Cleto Reyes) Gloves so I win the fight what I mean is I use "Clitoris Gloves I comfortable so I better fighter..."

Forgive me fans...I was just having fun. I am a great fan. As a matter of fact my shop is closed everytime Manny has a fight. My shop will be closed tomorrow as usual. I just think he is funny. And you know how I love to pick on wealthy people you know...

But I believe Manny is a great fighter. He speaks English like crap but nobody is perfect. As others would say, "dibale ng tanga mayaman naman!" (It doesn't matter if I'm stupid, but I am wealthy).

I'm not sure if he will win tomorrow, but my bet's still on him...Mabuhey ke money!!! este Manny!!!



"Laban Manny, Laban!!!"

My Last Breath

"Habit is stronger than reason."
- George Sanayana

humbug...

I'm busy today...might as well postpone my post for tomorrow...

9502

At last, a time for my post...

I have been in this vice for almost 13 years now. And I could never recall how many sticks have I finished. According to an online smoking calculator, I may have smoked almost a hundred thousand of them and may have cost me almost two hundred thousand pesos. That's a lot of money. I have tried to quit so many times I could not recall how many. But the urge always wins.

I have done so many things to stop. I tried seeking help from a company doctor. ( she didn't help), I've tried prescriptions, goal setting, starving myself but nothing worked. I tried so many tactics to reason myself, my family, my child's health, for love, for my health, for money. But nothing won. I am even smoking this very minute. Well, that's too bad....

Now that I am desperate coz of my poverty, I need to try once more...this time, now that I have told thew world, I hope it could make me quit. I'll try to save the money I will spend and see how will I fare. Let's see if habit is stronger than reason. Let's change it a bit.
"The empty stomach is stronger than habit"
Sounds weird, and stupid. But might as well give it a try.....

You have smoked roughly 94,900 cigarettes!

Smoking cigarettes costs you $280.00 per week, $1,216.67 per month, and $14,600.00 per year.

Based on the national average of cigarettes smoked and the average seven years of life lost due to smoking, smokers lose 5 1/2 minutes of life per cigarette smoked. At this rate, your life may be shortened by as much as 669 hours per year by smoking 20 cigarettes a day.

This works out to 27.88 days lost per year.

Over the last 13 years, you may have already shortened your life by 362.47 days!

Even though there is no exact way to predict the amount of life lost to smoking, know that tobacco use can cut valuable years from your lifespan!

If you continue smoking you will smoke 7,300 cigarettes over the next year, 36,500 cigarettes over the next five years, and 73,000 cigarettes over the next 10 years. Don't forget that each of these cigarettes decreases your lifespan too!

Courtesy of www.tobaccofreeu.org

Blood Clot

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow''

humbug...

I am at a loss now...but still struggling. I need to act fast now. I found a new apartment just a kilometer from my shop. It's not big, just enough for us. It's not pretty either, but homely and I think it's a bit peaceful. The problem is I do not have enough cash for the advance and deposit. I spent my money to repair my pc remember?

Need to make odds meet! God will make a way! I could no longer afford my apartment in Sta. Rosa. I need to transfer now, before somebody else grabs the cheap apartment that I have found. Apartments here costs ranging from 2,500 up, and cheap ones are hard to find.

I finally found my favorite song since elementary...I thought I will not hear it again.
thanks to don...
http://www.angelfire.com/planet/donz65/godwillmakeaway/

God Will Make A Way

Don Moen

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way....
He will make a way

Oh God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way.....
He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
And He will do something new today

Oh God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way...
He will make a way

NARRATION

Oh God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way....
He will make a way

With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way....
He will make a way

I love that song...It reminds me to be strong, likely I need it this time. Need to make a way to stop bleeding...

All I need to do now is wait...wait until God moves...for I cannot do anything anymore... My life bleeds away after all that I have done to prevent it. I need help... I have done everything in my power to fight. But it's just too hard for me. Every time I do something to survive, a new dilemma comes. I hope my waiting would give new hope to stop the bleeding, and I hope my waiting would not result of being bled to death.

" All good things comes to those who wait" - Robert de niro

I successfully uploaded my video to you tube...hopulykit...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppu4XFzxy_Y

Poor Pinoy

“Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.”

Humbuggg...

I was very very anxious the moment I came to my shop this morning. I readily opened my PC, browsed the internet, and read about. In a couple of minutes (my pc is slow) my nervousness was calmed, my anxiety pacified, my heartbeat normalized and the smile on my face vanished...

"I did not win the lotto!"

I have been betting in the national lottery for several years now...and not even one time, not even once that I won a cent. Maybe I have no luck at all. And still like the other million people out there we would still bet tomorrow. Like some people would say, " There is a greater probability that you would be struck by lightning this minute than win the lotto." "People that put their hopes in games of chance are those uneducated and hopeless individuals" Well, I don't care. I may have helped the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office to help poorer Pinoys with what I am doing, for part of the money is meant for charity. I also may have helped those corrupt individuals laundering the government's money. I may have helped Gloria in her candidacy! Such excuse is so lame. For the true reason is us Pinoys' hopelessness, dire need of cash, instant wealth, instant prosperity. Well just what I have said..."I don't care"

The only thing disturbs me is the feeling I get which is probably what almost all of us get. The frustration, the pain, the suffering....On how we tirelessly wait in lines at the Lotto outlet just to take our chance for the big bucks. On how we intently pray (which is wrong) that luck may pass our way. The bitter reality that we lost our money for a piece of parchment that's not even enough to light our charcoal stoves. Well, maybe that's what life is after all...

Tomorrow will be another day. And tommorow I will waste my money again for this stupid game. And who knows, I may win. Or I may be frustrated once more, just like what I've been doing all my life....

"Success doesn't happen overnight. It's the small successes achieved day by day that build a company. So, don't be impatient or focused on immediate financial rewards."

-John Gokongwei